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does cancer wreck a marriage

Some people will say no, but I found that even after 25years if they care more for themselves then it will.

I was married for 25 years and found that he could not accept that it had changed not only my appearance due to my mastectomy (sorry for the spelling) but things that had mattered before didnt seem important and he couldnt accept that. It was hard in the beginning but after he had left I found that I was happier just being with my children and doing what we wanted instead of just what he wanted to. I now have a new lease on life and enjoy every minute of the day. I have met some wonderful people who like me for what I am know and find joy in even the simplest of tasks. So even though having cancer is no fun and games in a way it has given me a new lease on life with new and wonderful options opening up to me everyday.

angela
doncaster, United Kingdom

New Boobs

Had breast cancer 3 years ago.( This November)
Then Chemo and Radiation.
Recently (January) had reconstruction of my bi lateral mastectomy.(trans flap)
Lovin my new boobs and tummy tuck.

Denise
Mulgoa, Australia

Life is Good

I am a double Masectomy Survivor! left breast in 1990, at 31 yrs of age, Treated by Harrington cancer center, Amarillo TX, was diagnosed again in2006,at UTMB @Galveston Branch, Returned to HCC in Amarillo Tx for the 2nd time, and had the same surgeon both times, by request and a Great oncologist Dr Pruitt!! Amazing human being as is the staff at Harrington Cancer center in Amarillo Tx, I also at time of 2nd Masectomy had been recently divorced and guess who came to my rescue? Susan G Komen Foundation picked me up and carried me thru surgery and 6 months Chemo, I can`t say enough about this foundation, SGKomen for the cure!!I am blessed with friends and a daughter whom I never would have made it without her! I am now at 53 yrs of age come Dec. and its just like aging and getting wrinkles because life goes on!!Somewhere I am very blessed!!

sherrysmithivy
Double Bayou, TX

9 Years and still going

I went in for a yearly physical and because of being 40 my doctor suggested I get a mammogram. I did and wouldn't you know it I flunked. I went to the surgeon next and both he and my family doctor were surprised because neither one of them felt any lump. So as you can tell you can't always depend on finding a lump. I was then scheduled for a lumpectomy. The following week I was back in for another lumpectomy because they didn't get a clear margin. That same week they called me to go back because they still didn't get a clear margin so I opted for them to go ahead and remove the whole breast. The following year I opted for the other one to be removed because I didn't want to chance it happening again. I had 5 kids to raise so I couldn't give up! Between my kids and my parents they kept me going and positive about things. The kids and I would joke about it. With having every womens dream of silicon breast..only difference was mine was on the outside instead of inside. I could be any size I wanted....Hooters here I come. It's not something to take lightly but it's also something you have to keep postitive about and make the best of. Keep the faith and know you can get through it with the help of your family and friends.
It's been 9 years for me and I have been clear and I support the breast cancer sites and I buy alot of breast cancer merchandise.

Good luck to all and keep a postitive outlook on things.

Anonymous
Eldorado, IL

First Me, Now My Mom

In 2/09 I was diagnosed with Stage IV Inflammatory Breast Cancer. My cancer was discovered during a routine physical. By 6/09 the metastisis had disappeared thanks to the chemo, but in 12/09 the cancer progressed and I was put on a different chemo. With the chemo, radiation, and surgeries, I received a favorable response. My family and I were extremely thrilled. We were finally able to relax a little and celebrate. It has been a very difficult year for us. My mother-in-law passed away in 9/09, my cancer had progressed in 12/09 and my dad passed away in Jan '10. But, literally days after receiving a great report from my surgeon, I found out that my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer. I was numb and speechless, but as the numbness wore off, I became angry. This was hitting too close to home. Nevertheless, I knew I had to help my mother. One night, after going to bed, it suddenly clicked. When I was diagnosed, I never asked "why me?". But now I know "why". My mom needs me to help her because I now have the wealth of knowledge and the personal experience. It may become difficult for her, but I will be there for her every step of the way, despite the fact that we live several states apart. My daughter is too young to lose her mother; she's only 7 years old. She's also too young to lose the only grandparent she has left.....her nonna. On Saturday, October 2nd, Komen's Race for the Cure will be held in Charlotte. This day will be an even more emotional one for us. We will be walking not only for myself, but for my mother. Mom......we are in this fight together! I love you with all my heart!!!

Mary De Jesus
Charlotte, NC

Post Surgical Mastectomy Rehabilitation: Massage Therapy

I just wanted to inform other survivors that are feeling depressed and self conscious as I did; that massage therapy improved my life! Having undergone mastectomy, chemotherapy and radiation therapy, my body was feeling foreign, weak and wounded. Surgery had left me with limited mobility on my left side; even combing the little hair I had left was a painful challenge. When I was referred to Paul Lewis, RMT for post cancer rehabilitation, I was apprehensive about how my body would cope with yet another form of treatment. But with very limited rotation in my shoulder, along with restricted movement in my neck and a constant numbness and tingling in my hands, I felt I had little to lose from trying something new. Any worries I previously held went out the window as Paul explained everything to ensure my comfort and ease. The pressure he used was never painful. He took extra measures with draping and positioning my body, which allowed me to relax completely. I've gone from someone who could barely comb their own hair to someone who can once again swim with my kids. And my scars are less noticeable! With Paul's help to restore my mobility and reduce my pain, I've begun to reclaim the things I enjoyed in life before my cancer diagnosis.
I know it is difficult to think of going for further treatments after we have been through so much to battle the cancer but massage therapy is worth it to get your active life back. I would recommend to other survivors, as well as to doctors, surgeons and therapists looking to refer their patients. It is best to look for a Registered Massage therapist who has post mastectomy experience and who is sensitive to all we have been through.

Karen T. Wife, Mother, Cancer Survivor
Mississauga, Canada

But my kids are so little.

I went for a routine mammogram in February 2010 because I hadn't had one in 5 years because I had been pregnant or breast feeding for the previous 4 years. But I got a phone call to come back to the office for an ultrasound, then another call for an MRI, the another call for a core biopsy. WIth every call I knew deep down what the news was, but still was not prepared for the radiologist to call and tell me that I had stage 1 breast cancer.

Seriously?! My kids are 3, and 1. My 3 year old has Autism. My husband can't handle all that has to be done with these boys. Every woman in my family except my mom has had breast cancer and it killed most of them except 2. I waited 40 years to be a mom and I was so afraid I was not going to be there for my boys.

I found a surgeon who was a breast cancer survivor. I had researching the internet for answers. My decision was a full bi-lateral mastectomy and to have my ovaries out, it was not up for negotiation. The women in my family that had done lumpectomy and single mastectomies didn't live. This was my only option.

I have 2 kids one is special needs, and they need their mommy and they need me to be healthy. I had my surgery March 9th and have been cancer free for 6 months. I am able to help my son in therapy, and play with my 1 year old the way a mommy should.

The early menopause kind of stinks, but it was an easy trade to give my ta-ta's away so my kids could have their mommy and my husband could have his wife.

Rebecca Goddard
Mission Viejo, CA

My best friend

After battling my own cancer (thyroid) I received a call a few months later from my best friend, who by-the-way was in her 30's, to tell me that she was diagnosed with breast cancer. To my surprise it was a little more serious than just a lump to be removed. Spreading from a tumor in her neck to the ribs in her chest, she is a fighter. Although she seemed positive that everything would be ok I knew deep down it was a little more serious than what she projected it to be (stage 4!). After over a month in the hospital and all the chemo treatments I can let my heart rest a little more knowing that her fighting so hard has kept my precious friend here on earth and her tests clean. She will know have to have treatment for her bones every couple months for the rest of her life, but a price she is willing to pay to be here with all of us. You have a very special place in my heart. I love you Andy!

lisa ball
auburn, WA

Staying strong and moving on

In April one of my best friends was diagnosed with breast cancer which prompted me to get my ck up. My emotional roller coaster began on my 44th birthday May 17th, when I had my mammogram followed by a double biopsy. On June 9th the results were back and I was diagnosed with IDC in the right breast, micro calcifications in the left. After multiple tests I opted for a double mastectomy with reconstruction started immediately. I fought to keep my lymph nodes and the surgeon only took one to check. What a shock it was when the pathology report came back with micromets in that one lymph node and my surgeon insisting I go back in the have the rest removed. I refused to make a decision until I had talked to my oncologist. Because the micromet was so small the oncologist agreed with me that there was no need to remove any more nodes. I'm BRAC neg, both ER & PR positive and HER2 neg and my OncoType DX came back a 10. No chemo, no radiation!! I will be on Tamoxifan for 5-10 years and the only side effects so far are my nails and hair are growing like crazy.
At first I was scared! Then I decided this was not going to get me down. I would not wallow in self pity and spend my life crying about it, so I researched and read everything I could get. Some helped, some scared my to death. Through it all I have forced my self to stay positive. I will not let cancer beat me! My life is worth fighting for! I am truly blessed by all the love and support I received from friends and family.
May God Bless each and everyone of you battling this monster!

Summer
Friendswood, TX

Two-Time Warrior

At age 39, just ten days before Christmas 2000, I was diagnosed with breast cancer in the right breast. There had never been breast cancer in our family, so needless to say I was floored. Lumpectomy, sentinel node biopsy and eight weeks of radiation took me right up to my 40th birthday...what a wonderful birthday present to me I thought, I'm done with this. Then six years later my annual mammogram revealed abnormalities in both breasts. I chose to have both breasts removed...I'm not doing this a third time. The pathology reports after surgery weren't good...the cancer was invasive. I thank God that He gave me the strength to decide to remove both breasts. Chemotherapy and three additional surgeries later, I've been cancer free for three years. Despite the scars and lingering effects of "chemo-brain", even my current unemployment, I couldn't ask for a better life right now. It was a tough road, but one that not only made me a stronger person, but also a more passionate person. Passionate about my life. Passionate about my family and friends. Passionate about doing all I can to help find a cure.

Darlene
Martins Creek, PA