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What’s your biggest fear?

Last night in our Ladies Bible study with Beth Moore, she was in the book of Esther chapter 4. Queen Esther was faced with her fear of death but knowing God was with her, she said in last part of verse 16 “if I perish, I perish!”
Mine….the fear of death, not mine so much but how it would affect my family. This fear was brought to reality in 1995 when I was diagnosed with breast cancer at age 35; being a single parent of a 4 year old and all the doctors telling me I needed a Will was extremely hard to listen to. One night while lying in my bed sobbing so much I thought I would just die right there an over whelming since of peace and calmness fell over me, in my thoughts I heard God himself tell me everything would be fine. WOW I cannot explain how this made me feel to know that God was there and was taking care of me. Extremely blessed that’s it!! After that I never cried over the cancer again and after the 8 hour surgery I was told the cancer was in such an early stage and none of the 14 lymph nodes were involved that I would not need chemo or radiation. Sometimes feelings of guilt creep up in me because so many others have been diagnosed with Breast Cancer and not had the same outcome. Many have lost their lives, but we have to remember that God is great and EVERYTHING is in His plan and nothing happens by accident. We cannot see the big picture but God has a reason for everything and to God be the glory!! Amen

Gail
Camden, SC

Keep the Faith

A few months back I notice a lump on my breast. I didn't think anything about it because I was on my monthly at the time. After about two more months I still felt it so I made an appointment with my doctor. In October she sent me for a mammogram and ultra sound. I received the results and had a lump of about 4. December 3 I went into surgery for a biopsy and removal of the lump. It was cancerous and doctor suggested removal of my right breast. I was scared. On Dec. 16 I had my breast removed. That night I was walking the halls in the hospital. I have not been sick and I hope I don't get sick. My lymph nodes came back negative but my doctor still wants me to do chemo. I haven't started treatment yet but I will not let this get me down. I'm a strong woman and with my friends and family standing beside I will get thru this. Without my faith in God I would not have the strength but he does heal and he will be there for me every step of the way. God Bless!!!!!

Lisa Claycomb
Bonifay, FL

The beginning of my life

I was 40 years old and following my Drs orders to get my baseline mammogram. I set the appointment up and carelessly went in to have it done. Went without a hitch. Then I received a call to come in for additional views. I still wasn't concerned. I had previously worked at my gyn office for ten years and had called many patients for this same thing. I went in for the views and they had me wait in the waiting area. After about ten minutes they came and got me. They took me back to talk to the radiologist. He proceeded to tell me that I had cancer but if I was going to have any it was the best kind. I remember thinking, "are you crazy? Did you just tell me I have cancer? " I was alone and I was supposed to work a 12 hour shift right after that and I couldn't even respond. The nurse took me aside and asked me if I understood what I was being told. I was in shock I think. No I didn't understand. I nodded and drove myself home. I finally pulled myself together enough to call work and then my husband. He didn't understand or believe it either. I then went through tests, biopsies and surgeries which were all so humiliating to me. More people had seen my body in those few weeks then ever before. I hated it. Finally after my fourth surgery and recovery I was headed back to work. I was happy to be back in world of the living. My husband decided to take that time to tell me he wanted a divorce after 16 years of marriage. I was devastated again. I didn't want to be alone but how would I find someone who would want my mutilated body and self esteem.
This is when I learned how wonderful life could be. I met an amazing man who loves me with my scars and my kids. I thank God every day for opening my eyes and showing me how to live.

Melissa Burleson
Westerville, OH

survive

I was diagnosed with BC just over 7 yrs ago, 2 months after my Mum died on my 25th wedding anniversary.

I was 45 @ the time. 18 months later, my son and only child, Grant, committed suicide.. :-(
30 months ago, I was diagnosed with a malignant Brain tumour which was successfully treated @Weston Park Cancer Hospital in Sheffield, using " Gamma Knife radiosurgery"
I am so thankful to still be here, aged 52..
My boy was, and still is beautiful.:-)
I think my point is... You can beat everything...!!! Breast Cancer is an "inconvenience" to us all, but we can BEAT it..
With love, Ally

ally probert
chesterfield, United Kingdom

Resiliency!

Two years ago I had no hair, no eye lashes, no eye brows, very few finger or toe nails, and no breasts - all replaceable! With the adverse reactions to chemo treatments and 21 days of hospitalization behind me, I am able to appreciate the resiliency of my truly amazing body.
I am also able to appreciate the significance of my family, friends, and a very special someone who thought setting a wedding date would give me something to live for - he was right! Eight months after my last infusion our parents, children, and grandchildren watched as we exchanged vows and rings.
Today I have a headful of foxy silver hair, reconstructed breasts (friends call them foobies, tee hee), and no more stage 2 infiltrating lobular carcinoma! Being 'chemically neutered' by daily doses of an aromatase inhibitor has it's challenges, but I am able to work, run 5ks, and enjoy my family and my life.
Thank you, God, for chemotherapy, surgery, and all the wonderful medical professionals who used these tools to get me back on track.

Dawn Koennicke
Fergus Falls, MN

My Mom, my Hero

My mom, Liisa, was diagnosed with Breast Cancer shortly after her 46th birthday. I remember vividly, me, the new cosmetology student, shaving her head, trying to hold back the tears while she laughed hysterically at the situation. My mom had some options in her treatment, and decided on a mastectomy with chemo to make sure it would never strike again. Along with that, she also chose to stay optimistic, have faith, and never let cancer keep her from doing what she loved.

Every other week, between chemos when the nausea would subside and her energy was up, my mom would be back on the soccer field, her haven. She was an inspiration to all, and demonstrated incredible strength, mentally, physically, and emotionally when she in no way had to. Her passion for the sport along with witnessing three other women on her team also battle Breast Cancer gave her the idea to found "Score for a Cure." This tournament is now a full-fledged non-profit, with participants from all walks of life and from all over the country. This April will be the 5th annual tournament, and my family just celebrated five-years in remission for my mom!

My mother continues to do wonderful things for so many people, organizations, and animals too! She is a woman that displays such courage, ambition, and always gives her whole-self to others, never pitying herself but overcoming the trials thrown at her. She has instilled in me that "everything happens for a reason" and I truly believe that. My mother is my hero, and someone for all to admire.

Amanda Singer
Plymouth, MA

My Frankenboob

I had a bilateral mastectomy on September 3, 2013. And e everything seemed to go well. And I had the tissue expanders were put in at that time as the mastectomy. On November 22nd I went in to have my permanent implants placed and everything seemed to be fine. Then on November 27th,the night be for Thanksgiving disaster struck. I had a hematoma developed in the left breast. I ended up in the ER and from there went straight to the OR. Seems I had an arterial bleed behind my imagination plant. On December 5th my JP drain was removed and on December 6th my breast once again began to swell up. So the eve before my 44th birthday I was once again in the Er and on my way to the OR. Things were fine inside, no bleeding, just a lot of lymphatic fluid built up. But the next challenge was issued. Now much ski. Had been pulled and sewn up so much in such a short time that it did not want to heal. So on December 13th I was headed into surgery yet again. The incision was not closing and was oozing and draining. The implant had to be replaced at this point as it had been punched some how. We were hopefully this would be the last trip into the OR but that would not be the case. Once again my breast did not want to close and was again draining serum out the incision sight. I had so many external stitches at this point I started calling my breast the 'Frankenboob'. On January 4th I had the implant completely removed. The hope is that this time things will heal up and perhaps later on, once my body had rested and is stable again, we will do something else to restore my breasts. The right one is fine, but to be honest I could careless if I get a new breast. I endured a lot in short time but I am no hero. All of you undergoing Chemo and Radiation are my Heroes.

Lottie O'Connell
Ellabelll, GA

Never say Never...

This past July I got the phone call many get but never thought that I would get...after all, I workout, take care of myself-Have mammograms every single year....yes, I had scares. Biopsies...but they always came back ok...I am a 47 year old mother of three boys-Just got re-married to a wonderful man that I knew in High School...our marriage was in November 2013. It was such a wonderful wedding with family and friends. About 8 months later in July I had an appointment for my yearly mammogram. Routine for me, I work at a Hospital and just have to go upstairs on my break-they get me in and get me out-I have had so many of these...my mom was diagnosed at 47 and opted for a one sided mastectomy-she is a 30 year survivor. So, I am at risk...so, risky, I went to a genetic counselor one week prior to my mammogram. She insisted I did not need a genetic test..that I was not risky enough...Long behold -two days after that mammogram-I got the call at work-I had DIC (ductal) cancer. Well, I am a candidate now! ...I made the decision to have a double mastectomy and lymph node biopsy-best decision ever (for me) ...it had not spread to my lymph nodes...and I no longer need mammograms. Due to the 3D mammogram that I had, they found my cancer at its earliest stages-I feel blessed for this-I feel blessed to have a husband stick by my side and go to every single doctor appointment-slept by my side for two surgeries and goes to almost every single reconconstruction appointment-which by the way-is a huge painful process...but so worth every bit of it. I cannot stress to women enough-have those mammograms-it saved my life! I look at life so much differently now-I know who was by my side every step of the way in this journey-and for that I will never, ever forget-Not easy but attitude is key-one more surgery in April-

Susie
Milwaukee, WI

1 Yr Cancer Free. Sharing hope & inspiration.

My journey began with my annual mammogram screening at Raleigh Radiology in August 2012. Within 3 days, I was contacted by my physician recommending further diagnostic testing to examine an area of concern on my left breast. l was then urged to get further diagnostic testing. I went back 1 week later for another mammogram. The radiologist also ordered an ultrasound and that determined there were 2 solid but small masses that needed to be biopsied. On September 10th I was diagnosed with Early Stage Invasive Ductal Carcinoma in my left breast.After a lot of discussion about different options such as a lumpectomy with radiation, or a mastectomy on the left side w/ no radiation, the chances of recurrence and or the chance of having to have more surgeries to get clear margins, my husband & I realized that a double mastectomy seemed to be the better decision. I also had a family history that was a big factor in my personal decision. My Mom is a 2 time breast cancer survivor beginning 25 yrs ago. On Oct.31st I had a Bi Lateral Mastectomy with reconstruction. I also had 12 Lymph nodes removed that tested negative. When I saw my Oncologist I was told that the mass was actually 5.2 cm. (A lot bigger than determined initially). I was then re-diagnosed at Stage 2B.Because of the size of the tumor removed and my younger age, an Oncotype DX test was performed to determine if I would benefit from Chemotherapy to determine my recurrence risk within 10 yrs. On Jan 2, 2013 we were blessed with the news that Chemotherapy was not going to be needed or recommended based on the Oncotype DX test result. I am thankful to be Cancer Free as of my surgery.

Debbie Stanley
Middlesex, NC

Trust and not be Afraid

I turned 39 years old in July. My survivor story began as I was reading my Bible on the morning of July 27 and I came to Isaiah 12:2, "I will trust and not be afraid......" I grabbed a pink highlighter of all colors because that just really spoke to my heart that morning. I went to take a shower a few hours later and I plainly heard "You need to check your breast" I was startled to say the least but I heard it again only more forceful. I went right to the spot. The next week was a whirl wind as I had a mammogram and ultrasound and biopsy then finally the diagnosis on Aug. 2. My baby turned 15 on Aug 1 and all I could think is 15 years ago I was bringing my baby home from the hospital and now, 15 years later I have breast cancer! I saw my surgeon on Aug. 5 and I had a double mastectomy on Aug. 6. I had chemo (TAC) every 3 weeks for 18 weeks and I can happily say I finished on Jan. 2, 2014!! Whenever I get afraid I remember the verse I found that morning " God is my salvation, I will trust and not be afraid the Lord Jehovah is my strength and my song he is also become my salvation" I am going to start the reconstruction process in a few weeks and I will be on the anti estrogen pill for 5 years and I am praying 40 will be a better year for me. I know that no matter what I face I have my faith and the love and support of my family and friends. I am blessed far beyond measure! Cancer does not discriminate nor does it follow the guidelines.....

Jodi Leonard
Bristol, TN