2006, I had recently gotten my life on track and was really loving life for the first time in years.
Okay so we had a check your breast class this morning, as usual my mind was way far away.....la la la. Later on I am getting ready for bed. I notice what looks to be a discharge stain in my bra, hmmm. I squeezed my nipple..eeewww. Something resembling pus and blood. Mind you, I had NEVER checked my breasts in my life by myself and my last mammogram had been in 1999 or 2000.
The next morning I told the nurse on duty that I had pain, a lump and discharge. I saw the Head Nurse the next morning, she checked... confirmation. I had an appointment for ultra sound about three days later at Stanford Hospital. The Radiologist said it looked like calcification. Soon it was official, it WAS calcification. Okay, so they called me in for a staff meeting. I walked in.... Counselors, Doctors, Program Head.... doesn't look too good. It wasn't , seems they were telling me that upon further examination...it wasn't calcification after all. So they were explaining and talking and whatever, I was smiling and nodding. Head asked me "Pearl do you understand what their saying? Uh..no? Turns out they wanted to do biopsy. On the bus in Oakland going to traffic court, scared. Phone rings. Pearl......This is the VA... Nurse Whatever...looks like youve got... A Little Bit of Cancer. Whaa??
A toal maectomy followed...4 years ago. Anger, denial, fear, self hatred..whats next? Oh of course, Frugs. Finally acceptance, gratitude that I had been in a place where I noticed it. Grateful for the past 4 years, Recovery, My Family. Today Im trying to live. God Loves ME. CHECK EVERYDAY!.... Okay?
Oakland, CA
