I had an arranged marriage 2 years back. My husband has always been a ''keep feelings to himself'' kind of a guy. I migrated to USA in March of 2013. In May I noticed a hard lump in my left breast. I did not have any family history of breast cancer and also since I was 29 I did not take much notice of it. I finally went for a checkup in September and was horrified to learn I had an aggressive tumor which has already advanced to second stage. I had to endure 8 cycles of chemotherapy ,followed by surgery and radiation.
Coming back to the husband part. I had always wondered what love exactly is and in the last 6 months he has defined it for me. Love is not just chocolates ,teddies and cards. Love is waiting in front of MRI, ultrasound and mammogram department for hours. Love is leaving your new job for the inconvenience it might cause to your wife's regular visits to clinics. Love is giving your wife her first hair cut after chemo as she is too emotional about the hair fall. Love is telling your bald wife she looks beautiful and the wig suits her more than her real hair. Love is putting alarm on your own cell phone so as to give your wife her 4 am medicine. Love is keeping the house sparkling clean to avoid any complicating infections. Love is making her realize her hair and breasts are not her identity she is. Love is encouraging your wife to look beyond the cancer and plan for a future after it. Love is keeping her medical records in order and going through them in detail to have a better understanding for what they were up against. Love is enduring cancer every minute and every second with your partner and never letting go of the strength.
So now I know what Love is. I pray that every one facing this huge challenge gets the same love ,support and encouragement that I had.
Wish you all a very Happy Valentine's day.
San Leandro, CA
