When I had just gotten out of the shower, I noticed a very small indentation on the top of my left breast. I checked things out, and found a lump directly under that area. I took a deep breath and held it in for the two days that I didn't tell my husband. When I told him, he told me to immediately make an appointment, and I did. In a matter of moments, days, my life was thrown into a tornado. Everything I had known, thought, believed was tossed and thrown around in my head and in my life. I was 34, we had two young girls, and my husband didn't work because of debilitating pain.
Six days after I told my husband about the lump, I heard the word "cancer." My head immediately went to our girls. The hardest parts of this journey all involve them. Trying to explain things to them that I don't truly understand myself. All I could promise them is that I would do whatever I could, so that I can stay here on this earth with them.
A few weeks before Christmas, I chose a bilateral mastectomy. My grandmother had breast cancer, twice. I wasn't messing around. Of the two plastic surgeons I consulted, I chose the one who wasn't a pervert. Really. After healing from surgery, I did six rounds of chemo, three weeks apart. I had a month off, and then I opted for radiation. Radiation was a hard choice, but I made my hardest decisions by asking myself if the cancer came back, could I live with my decision.
I have now been cancer free for two years. Two years, and counting. While there are fears, blood checks, biopsies, that continue in my life, I want to share that throughout this journey, of sorts, I have felt the most amazing LOVE and SUPPORT ever. My coworkers provided Christmas for my entire family, when we couldn't. Friends and family loved, supported, and made me feel beautiful every step of the way. Life is filled with amazing love, and it's worth fighting for!
Haysville, KS
