Do you talk to him? Do you read to him? These were the questions from the doctor whom I first expressed concern about Vincent when he 2 ½ . Why did he talk to me like this? I have my suspicions. I was young, Hispanic and on Medical. I was stunned and filled with doubt: What was I doing wrong? Why was Vincent so quiet? Why was he lining up our movies instead of playing with his toys? In my culture boys are not only loved they are adored and Vincent being the only grandson was placed on a very high pedestal. Questioning his perfectionism was followed by resistance and looking for help was frowned upon. Would he eventually grow out of his odd behavior? That was my family’s theory and they were going to stick by it even after we heard the word Autismo.
I was taking Vincent to the child development center on campus when it happened. A teacher shared, “Vincent is having trouble participating and doesn’t respond to the teachers. I think you need to talk to your doctor. ”So there it was…on our next visit to the doctor he gave me the official diagnoses based upon the concerns the teacher had shared. It took the doctor literally five minutes of observing Vincent to get the diagnoses that would open the door to services and developmental preschool. In that moment I realized that on our many prior visits the doctor was not paying attention to me or to my son. Hmmm I wonder why?
Relating Vincent's new Autism diagnoses to my family is a whole other story...just think first male grandson in a Hispanic family that adores boys and are reluctant to believe they can be anything more than perfect.
Nampa, ID