When I found out Ryan was diagnosed Pervasive Developmental Disorder-Not Otherwise Specified (PDD-NOS) known as Autism, my world crumbled around me. At that time, I wanted to look for ways to prove the specialist was wrong because she had no knowledge of Children of Deaf Adults. I did look for articles and indeed did find an article about Hearing Children of Deaf Parents with Language Delay.
Also, I remember feeling my world crumbled around me as I wanted to blame others for causing Ryan being autism while I was pregnant quietly. Instead of blaming others, I automatically shut the world out for weeks including my family. I remember how angry I was when I heard someone was telling me,"I'm sorry to see that Ryan will live with you for the rest of your life." But for anyone who had to someone bluntly missed beautiful, daily moments.
I remember how much I wanted to overcome Ryan's obstacles. At first, he could not speak at all. He had lots of tantrums; throwing things up in the air and dashing off a lot of times. But this had changed. Little by little, I worked with him daily by age 3. He gradually started talking and act cooperating nicely. Ryan now interacts with other kids. As a deaf mom, I am not the kind of a person who would surrender despite of his disability. I am his example.
But the matter is that my world changed for better.
I didn't know he would smile, laugh, and hug would make my heart sing.
I didn't know he would amaze me with his far out creative imaginations or exceed far ahead of my expectations.
Yet, I had the experience to walk through the pain to find joy. The joy far outweighs the pain.
Chula Vista, CA
